E3 2012: Nintendo 3DS Showcase

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Well, E3 is now all but over with Nintendo’s final, and failed chance for redemption.  After starting a full 9 minutes late, and deciding to replace good old Reggie Fils-Amie with some guy who has the stage presence of a damp rag, the conference revealed itself to just be an advertisement for the upcoming games of 2012, and nothing more.  But to hell with it, I said that I’d do this, and I am doing it right now, here is what I thought of the games that they showed.  I will not mention the bits where people talked, because they were all pretty bad, and Jim Sterling made some amazing remarks via his Twitter, so everything I could say would be like making a Portal reference in this day and age.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow – Mirror of Fate;  It looks surprisingly good.  Rather than the limited combat of the Metroidvania titles from 1997-2008, you now have an action game worth moveset with your whip, and some sub-weapons as well.  The visuals look nice, with a good mix of stylization in the visuals, but to top it off, you get to play as Alucard again.  I have no idea why, but playing as Alucard, Dracula’s son, is infinitely more appealing to me than playing as Simon of Trevor Belmont, who look exactly the same.  But the Metroidvania roots seem ingrained, and will now be helped by a notes system, which every 3/DS game should have utilized!  I think that I am still very cautious because most good games are not announced 4 or so months before release.

Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon;  While I do think Luigi is the far more interesting Mario brother, I can understand why his most prominent role had him wetting himself for about 5 hours, this time, not much seems to be different, except the campaign should be longer.  The visuals and animations look nice, and there appear to be enough bells and whistles to make the ghost sucking a lot of fun.  But my only real problem lies with the ghosts.  I understand wanting to make ghosts cute, but that just seems really dumb to me when you had humanoid ghosts in the first game, and they now look to be all the same with the exception of one big spider.  I will probably pick this up, but it is still high on my expendable games list.

Epic Mickey: The Power of Illusion:  Why does every damn game in this conference have colons?  Can no one come up with solid titles anymore?  Either way, this game appears to be Dreamrift, creators of Monster Tale , doing what they do, but with Disney characters, who I never found appealing, even when I was little, I felt as if something was off about them.  Other than my gripes, the game looks beautiful and like a lot of fun to play.  While the drawing aspect seems a bit unneeded, it is like the Magic Seals in Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow, pointless, but ignorable.

Paper Mario: Sticker Star; We basically just got some clarification on how the game will, A. use stickers for every battle command, but stickers are everywhere, and you can hold a good amount, depending on size.  B. You no longer level up, making combat just a way to get money, and you instead get rewards by doing side quests to help people out.  C. there are real world items that you collect and turn into stickers, and this will probably involve the cameras at some point.  Overall, the game looks good, I’ll review it shortly after release, so my thoughts will be more developed this Winter.

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Dostance; I think Kingdom Hearts game look horrible from an aesthetic standpoint, DIsney does not combine well with Manga style characters, and the only thing that I care about in this game is Neku.  Neku is the protagonist of The World Ends With You, one of my favorite games in the past 5 years.  I could go on about the game for hours, which is exactly why I won’t review it, and the fact that the game only has one save slot, which I already spent 60+ hours on.  Seriously, buy it, you can find it for about $15.

Scribblenauts Unlimited:  Why didn’t you show off something new?  The game looks good, but we already saw everything in the trailer shown.

Pokemon Black and White 2: Why did you not show any footage from this or the promoted 3DS eShop titles?  Because I want this game pretty badly, just ‘cos I’m a Pokemon fan since age 4.

New Super Mario Brothers 2 (3D): COINS!!! COINS!!! COINS!!! COINS!!! COINS!!! It is all about getting 1 million goddamn coins, speed running, and competing, everything that makes me pissed off while playing games.  Grinding, repetition, and self-loathing. GG guys, GG.  Oh, and the Co-Op is back, but more dickish than ever?  Oh boy!  Coming August 19, because we just want money, so we made a game about it!

Well, that was mostly a sad pile of poop in a paper bag.  The least you could have done was say that you were at least bringing over Fire Emblem: Awakening, which you confirmed minutes later! I mean, this is cool, but where were the promised surprises?  What the hell happened to Animal Crossing?  Where is Professor Layton?  Are we ever getting a handheld Level 5 game again?  They have about 5 great looking 3DS titles!  Gurf!  This line up is good, but I was rightfully expecting more detail in your long term plans!  And where the hell is my Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward love?  Now I am just being absurd, goodnight internet!

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