I am currently working on my final papers, one of which I recycled and one of which I vomited out because I was guaranteed an A in the class, and one of which I am halfway done with, but am really bored by. I am writing a review of Arkham Asylum and playing Castle Crashers because my Vita memory card isn’t coming until tomorrow and I want it to come before I start Golden. I am revising my plans for Terra’s Tales of Tremendous Transcendance because copyright laws are dumb and you cannot sell something that contains the word Pokemon in it. And I am also probably going to get a job either where my mother works or with an accounting firm if their intern thing goes through. That’s my story and I’m going to hide in a box now, bye! …Or stay since I have a page of game stuff to speak about.
Okay, let’s get the cleaver out. From Software has been purchased by Kadokawa Corporation. What does that mean for everybody’s beloved Dark Souls? Very little, as Kadokawa is a massive corporation who likely purchased them as they made money, and will let them do their thing as long as they keep making money. Disney Infinity 2.0 has been announced, with the inclusion of Marvel Heroes likely causing the title to boom bigger than what I believe to be the underwhelming one last year. And Mass Effect Trilogy’s Gen8 revision is really probably going to happen.
In more interesting news, Microsoft is the first big console maker to take advantage of China’s console laws being less strict by bringing over the… Xbox One. I was originally going to branch out some criticism around the problem with releasing a game system like the XBO in a pretty poor country, but American McGee already did that. First they’re actually obtainable in China, its uses aside from games have already been done in far cheaper machines, the very real threat of Piracy, the fact that young Chinese people don’t have time to do anything but preparing for a very competitive job market, and the censorship that would need to be done. I don’t take his word for everything, but those all do seem like big flags that Microsoft will probably acknowledge when this thing flops.
What is not a flop is the PS4 and Sony’s game division in general, as they pretty much cemented themselves as the Indie overlords. Following a massive splurge, they not only have over a thousand licensed developers and 100 games in the pipeline, they more or less are bringing with them some of the brightest titles in the PC underbelly directly to their system so they can achieve console exclusivity and dominate the world justly and with a fist of steel… or something less dramatic and by extension less fun.
Insert easy joke about Call of Duty and it not being fun because… hell if I know, never played any of the games, would only ever want to touch the single player as I never got engrossed in a multiplayer game. Even Smash Brothers I only played it with myself because I don’t have any of your stupid friends… oh, right, a new Call of Duty was announced to be announced, and was leaked shortly after with Call of Duty: Advance Warfare actually looking pretty alright, even if the whole PMC and exoskeleton thing tied into a type of trailer I have simply gotten tired of thing turns me off. That, and the simple fact that there is no point in even thinking about the series if you do not like multiplayer, and I cannot think of a single multiplayer mode ever personally enjoyed. Hell, I don’t want to play Journey because I don’t want anybody to ruin my experience by being a person.
I also personally did not enjoy Dark Souls after a very repetitious experience that involved trekking back to the starting point upon every instance I used a potion and ending after a door I spent two hours trying to open shut in my face. So forgive me if From Software’s leaked new title, Project Beast, does not diddle my widdle. And even though I love the blurry screens, I am melting the pipe where hype could flow preemptively as disappointment sucks. Just like how I’d guess fans of Stealthy Bastard, or rather Stealth Inc, are with the knowledge that its sequel will be Wii U exclusive… Yeah, I only learned of the game because of its name change and even though I own it due to PS+, I could only care a small amount less.
Oh, and Neversoft, a company who may as well have died long ago as whatever fondness it inspired had evaporated as their claim to fame escaped them, will be merging with Infinity Ward. Bye for reals!