Disclaimer: This novel contains adult material including sexual themes and strong language. This work is not suitable for minors. Reader discretion is advised.
Session 14: Can’t Even Shine In A Prism
Still upset at myself for getting lost in my own thoughts, I wasted little time leaving my first period once the bell rang and began rushing halfway across the school to Maxxie’s next class, Ceramics. It was hardly as much of an ordeal to traverse the halls than it was during my time in Shiaka’s body, but I still felt burdened by both the hefty weight of Maxxie’’s backpack as it slung on my shoulders, and the lack of vision imposed upon me by my reduced stature. Still, I managed to make it to the classroom in time, where I was caught off guard by how unfamiliar everything was.
I was greeted by a group of students from all four years and a teacher who I did not know by name. This lack of familiarity made it hard for me to get into the mindset I needed to be in to impersonate Maxxie. and as such, I spent most of the period acting like I, Jad Novus, would in a situation like this. I was distant, standoffish, and far from the bustling ball of energy that I assumed Maxxie would be in a class like this. I did try to imitate her speech patterns and vocabulary, but I became less and less convinced in my own performance as the period went on.
As for the class itself, all we did today was look at some clay bowls that were made last week, baked over the weekend, and were painted on Monday. Some of them were pretty crappy, lumpy, or had developed cracks in them as they hardened. Maxxie’s, however, was perfect by comparison. I mean, I am not very well versed with the clay craftsmanship and such, but it was very smooth, its shape was symmetrical on all fronts unlike some of the others, and it was really well painted on the outside. Okay, just glancing at it you could assume somebody threw violet and teal paint all over it, but the colors were vibrant and gelled well together, while the actual brushwork was very consistent throughout the bowl. It looked pretty cool all things considered, but as I looked over it, I quickly realized that Zoe was the one to paint this bowl. A fact that picked away at my already flaking self-confidence.
You see, Verde, assuming you are still listening, I really never took that many art classes. I was never very good at any part of it, and while Maxxie tried to get me to at least learn some basics, she is not a very good teacher. I know that anybody can learn how to draw well with enough time and dedication, and while I have tried time and time again to draw something half decent, everything I draw with a pen or pencil looks like it was made by a third-grader. It sucks. It sucks to be around somebody so creative and talented and have no artistic capabilities to call my own, and then find somebody else in my circle of friends, one who has never expressed any interest in any art class or the creation of art, and see that they are way better than me at making art if the brushwork of this bowl is any indicator.
Third period was creative writing, a class I normally had with Maxxie, meaning I had it with Zoe(J) today. We did not talk to each other or anything, as Zoe(J) is not the sort of person to speak during class unless it is explicitly requested. Instead, we just were given random classmate’s short story to critique, and for the writer to edit over the break. They were only two to three pages long, so I went through a couple. A nifty little story about a world where fifty percent of humans can fly, but only gain the ability if they are in a situation where flight would save their life. A tale about forced feminization, likely by somebody who never heard of the term, and whose views of gender norms are a decade out of style. And there was also a lengthy and lighthearted limerick about a man who disassembles humans and recreates them in his own image. Yeah, some real charming stuff…
I also, somehow, was given a story written by Maxxie about a race of, well, not futanaris, more like she-males or dick girls without testicles. It details how they use their retractable penises in order to mate with the hairy animal-like males who become impregnated through their oversized and leatherbound testicles… There was also a bit about using retractable penises to mount horses and use them for sexual satisfaction in addition to transportation. My closest guess as to what inspired Maxxie to write something like this would be an artist by the moniker of ModeSeven, drawer of the shiniest and prettiest penises in all the land.
I have no idea why the English teacher for this class, Raiyne Underwood, allowed Maxxie to write this sort of thing. I mean, yeah, Raiyne did know Maxxie on a decently close level on behalf of her being both my mother’s friend and our English teacher for the past four years, but this still doesn’t seem appropriate for school. I guess it was creative and while it did have sexual themes, the story was erotic as a fish skeleton. I mean, beyond the retractable penises, the story was intricate with the details of their culture, values, and had a lot more detail than what was asked for, and certainly had a level of uniqueness compared to the trash I wrote. It was a simple and well-trodden tale about a man who witnessed a murder and had the crisis of whether they should run, hide, try and stop it, try to snap a picture of the criminal, call the police, and so forth. But it was such a wordy and elongated story for what would realistically happen within thirty seconds.
I tried to offer honest criticism for all of these stories, but I felt it had to be worded as Maxxie would, meaning I had to start emulating her tastes and wording in writing. This meant that I wound up erasing a lot of my comments in favor of an assortment of astronomically awful alliteration and an amazing amount of asinine asides about anything my mind’s manifestation of Maxxie may muster. Unfortunately, my struggle to produce perfectly… screw it. I had trouble keeping up with what Maxxie did so effortlessly despite technically having the same biological brain she normally possessed. It was a discouraging, demeaning dirge that inspired a sour sense of sorrow to stew within me as I made my way to the final class I had before Lunch, Studio Art.
As I realized when I looked at Maxxie’s notes earlier in the day, Zoe handled the presentation of her project the other day, standing in for Maxxie, and supposedly doing a bang-up job. I was curious as to what her project was, and I did not even need to wait until I entered the classroom to figure out what she had drawn, as, outside of the classroom, where students art was displayed, I spied a framed print that I would only ever expect to be drawn by Maxxie. As it was a pretty huge piece of tribute art to the early 1990s anime series, K.O. Beast… Which she technically owns the rights to…
Maxxie’s parents, Kenneth and Eleanore Flare, purchased the rights to the series when it had been dead for fifteen years. The rights were bought as a birthday present to Maxxie, as she adored the VHS tapes of the English dub to the point where they were ruined after being played so many times. I know that she talked about how much she loved Elfen Lied to the point where she began taking art classes, but what got her drawing every day was KO Beast, as she loved the way the characters looked, especially the anthropomorphized animal forms.
Regardless, it looked awesome, capturing the spirit and style of the original series, with slightly revamped designs and an art direction that also reflected her love of the incredibly bizarre but amazing animated film Dead Leaves. I was actually a bit upset that she never showed it to me before, but I take it she got distracted by the whole body swapping affair and the fact that she drew this probably slipped her mind.
But I didn’t have the time to stand and gawk at Maxxie’s excellent art, so I made my way into the classroom. The period consisted of people presenting alright to great pieces of art they had created over the past two weeks in and out of class, while we are asked to simply ask questions or at least take some notes about what you liked or did not like about the art. You know, because the teacher wants to make sure the kids are engaged and such while others are presenting. Overall, period four was disheartening as I was effectively being shown that twenty other students at this school are far better right now then I probably ever will be at doing art.
With my spirits low, I headed to room 1337 for fifth period and to reconvene with my friends. As I arrived, I saw Maxxie(Z) pushing together four student desks and had chosen to slide them across the tile flooring, because it’s not like that causes a screeching noise. Before I could question her actions Maxxie looked at me and immediately dropped what she was in the middle of.
“Oh, hello— blarg— fart— ass— fuckapalooza!” Maxxie(Z) shouted at me in her deep and serious-sounding voice.
“Sorry bout that chum, but after an extended period of having a stick up my ass, I feel like I’m allowed to poop on the floor a little. Not like I’m spreading it out on carpet or anything… Anywho, I sorta forgot to bring this up before, ‘cos I’m dumb and stuff, but If you open up your backpack, Babs made all of us a couple of Bentos at my behest!” Maxxie(Z) shouted with glee as she began taking her backpack off of my shoulders, opening one of its many zippers.
I honestly should have examined her stuff a bit closer, though I was used to Shiaka’s original body’s strength after yesterday, and just assumed that Maxxie had comparable upper body strength. But nope, instead it turns out the extra weight of the backpack was really from four Bento boxes that were each individually wrapped in a cloth napkin.
Each box held an assortment of treats tailored for each and every one of us, likely as an attempt at showing off the differences we all have in regards to taste. The violet box with an M sticker on it had two large pork Onigiri rolls slightly smooched in the plastic container along with… Look, I am only going through the rest of the story in hopes that you are listening to me, but for fuck’s sake, give me a goldarn sign if you are, okay?
Oh, alright, you changed the surroundings to a pleasant view of the cosmos, nice to see that you can still manipulate this little room-sized pocket dimension… And you removed your chair, which is just lovely. The door is still behind me, and… goodness have I gotten used to saying everything that’s on my mind.
However, unless you ask me all proper-like, I’m just going to summarize the actual food part of lunch. After Terra(S) and Zoe(J) arrived and we finished shoving our desks together, we began digging into the food Babs prepared for us. We all ate pretty quickly, helped by how bento boxes are pretty small in most cases, and because Babs knows what all of us like, we all enjoyed our respective body’s meals and experienced what food tasted like with someone else’s tongue. I was naturally overwhelmed by the sense of flavor in every bite, even the subtle flavor of plain rice. While Zoe(J) made the same comment as Maxxie did on Saturday, saying that my taste buds were subdued, which made me feel just fantastic as I was going through this phase of despair. Maxxie(Z) took this as a great opportunity to begin letting out a, well, a rant on Zoe’s original body more or less.
“Aight, so the other day I was complaining about how I thought that Jad was a little boring to be, at least in school, Zoe, you sexy dawg you, are way, way, way, worse! I mean, with this bod, this sexy swimmer and track star body you built, I just wanna try blazing a trail through a boy, girl, whatever, and make ample use of the eight inches that have been begging for freedom all day long.” Maxxie(Z), who I should probably point out is a virgin, explained while gesturing at her current body.
“…Please don’t tell me you—” Zoe(J) muttered with a sense of dread in his voice.
“I did use your ruler to measure your penis, but you probably put soap on it before you go to school, so I figured it was chill for me to go all touchies with it after Physics was let out early.” Maxxie(Z) said, folding her arms and puffing up her cheeks.
“Anyway, the glasses, the uniform, and— ahem— the necessity to imitate the vernacular and mannerisms of one who I could reasonably call my opposite on that front— all make this shaz a helluva lot more wack than I figured it’d be on the Sunday.” Maxxie(Z) continued, the disdain very palatable with her current voice.
“…You were positively fuming when we ran into Yuccot Kikansky.” Zoe(J) mentioned as he made his way to one of the computers in the room, trying to distract Maxxie(Z) from a conversation he wanted no part in..
“Guh! Don’t get me started on that A-hole! That memory is being forwarded onto the garbage at the dumpster dot com and will be marked as spam!” Maxxie shouted.
“Erm, who exactly is Yuccot Kikansky?” The quiet Terra(S) meekly asked all of us.
“We told you about him before, Terra. Really obnoxious super senior who annoys the hell out of everyone and has taken a ‘liking’ to us as of late, ring a bell?” I explained to Terra(S).
“He has also shown himself to be quite an unintelligent, racist, sexist, bigoted, hateful little peach pit of a human being.” Zoe(J) mentioned, his brow furrowed as he spoke.
“On this day he doth declared that Zoe and I were touchin’ peppers, which I don’t mind, I’ll mess with some boys love ish from time to time, watch some dongs going into another man’s bum, and said that we were doing this because got tired of our ‘half-breed whores’… Yes, really.” Maxxie(Z) said with scorn.
“Ugh…” Terra(S) moaned.
“As for my time in your body, Jad, I felt that it helped me obtain a greater understanding of the differences between people physically. Being a generally smaller and leaner person than I normally am was not much of a jump for me after spending time in both Maxxie’s and Shiaka’s original bodies, but I still feel as if it was a worthwhile decision to spend a day in your body.” Zoe(J) explained, calm as can be whilst displaying his ample vernacular.
“Okay, but did you, I mean, do you like it?” I unconfidently questioned the man in my original body.
“I attempted to dodge the question, but quite frankly, I do not particularly care for your body Jad. I do appreciate the feeling of a trim waistline, but it lacks the sense of strength I am accustomed to, and lacks the feeling of being… cute that I felt when in both of the female bodies I have tried.” Zoe(J) honestly stated.
“Got it Zed, but now comes the question of how my dear sweet sister has been enjoying her day as a high school girl. Maxxie(Z) said as she directed the conversation towards Terra(S).
“Right, so, um, I think I said that I was a bit freaked out by all of this during… second period, right?” Terra(S) murmured as she played with her hands on top of her dark navy skirt.
“Yeah… you feeling alright?” Maxxie(Z) said as she stood up and got closer to her sister.
“I— I guess so, it’s just that… I feel like I am, I am trespassing, I am stealing Shiaka’s life— even though she let me have this. Every person who sees me as Shiaka, and… It all feels wrong. I keep thinking that everybody at this school, they’re all looking at me and seeing through this lie I have built. It is horrifying, and I… I felt that I was going to hyperventilate at any given moment and just ruin Shiaka’s life because of that.” Terra(S) confessed to all of us, her lovely blue eyes filled with tears.
“Oh— Terra, I—” Maxxie(Z) said as she reached towards her sister, who promptly jolted to the other side of her seat.
She clearly was discomforted by the idea of being hugged by a far taller man in a moment like this.
“Hey, Terra, would you feel better if you hugged me?” I asked, being in the original body of her elder sister.
Terra gave a nod in response, so I switched seats with Maxxie(Z) and began hugging her sister. She began wetting my pink blazer with tears, but I did not care. I simply held her softly, began slightly rubbing her back, and began humming the song Miss Stiletto Heels from Deadly Premonition. It was a call back to a time from four years ago, where I got to share a Spring Break of bonding with Maxxie and Terra, and the calming tones of that track where one of the many things that popped into my head when I recalled the many long nights we spent going through that bizarre, busted, yet wonderful game. The memories flooding back to her combined with her sister’s original body’s delightful voice were enough to subside Terra(S)’s tears, and as such I freed her from my grip. A nervous smile was on both our faces and a feeling of solace encompassing the room.
“Thanks, Maxxie… I screwed that up, didn’t I?” Terra(S) mumbled to me as she brushed the remaining tears from her eyes
“It’s alright Terra, we know what you meant.” Maxxie(Z) said with a look of relief on her face
“Not to be rude, but do you feel up to continuing this conversation, or…” Zoe(J) questioned Terra(S).
“I… I guess I like it but, it feels weird and not quite what I expected. The way long hair fluttering down my neck feels, the fluttering of my skirt along my really soft legs, and the… softness to everything, it is something I was worried I’d never get to feel. But I didn’t really expect for the, um, breasts, to be so… big. And then there are the scars on my torso, which really, really, really did not help with anything…” Terra(S) replied as she looked down at her current body, blushing slightly as she glared at her breasts.
…Yeah, we actively did not tell Terra much about Shiaka’s troubled past, as it is pretty dark stuff for a ten-year-old.
Silence encompasses the room as Terra(S) looked to be on the verge of confessing something, only for her to slowly open her lips.
“I’m afraid that everything I want is wrong. I feel that… even if I go through all of this crap with gender transition, that I… I still will not feel like a woman as much as I do now. That it will all be futile, a waste… and I will never be comfortable as myself.” Terra(S) said with sorrow, looking down at her skirt and sweater vest.
Unfortunately, this conversation was halted by the ringing of the familiar chime to move to the next period, and unfortunately, she would need to be alone for the next hour. I wonder if that was for the best though, as she would reconvene with Maxxie(Z) come seventh period, and Zoe(J) come eighth. Part of me was relieved at how I did not need to deal with this, but another part loathed the fact I even had that thought. I felt like I was running away to live a lie…
You know, Verde… Ah screw it.
In case you’re curious, I’m doing this for myself, not for you. I don’t want to repress this crap and have a sense of guilt gnaw at me when I lose these memories, because I doubt you were ever going to let me keep them.
I mean, Verde, you abducted me and put me in an alternate reality to examine how I perceived it and then wanted to talk about it with me? You have the ability to reshape reality and that is what you decide to do with your powers? I guess I always knew that something was up, but… I should have called you out on your massive loads of BS before you abandoned me. And all because I got a bit angry at you? You should have seen the horrors of mankind over the three years you’ve been alive, but one person having an emotional outburst screws with you beyond belief… I just don’t understand…
…I’ll get started on recapping the sixth period then… And sorry for snapping at you. That was uncalled for.
Verde’s Doohickey Main Page
Session 01: Re;Birth.exe
Session 02: Osananajimi;Myself
Session 03: Maximum Flare
Session 04: The World of Girl Love
Session 05: It’s Slippery When Wet
Session 06: T-Girl Trouble
Session 07: All The Warriors
Session 08: A School-Style Swap
Session 09: School Daze
Session 10: Starred Social Links
Session 11: Finer Foreshadowing
Session 12: Dark Dreams Develop Despair
Session 13: Back 2 Best Girl
Session 14: Can’t Even Shine In A Prism
Session 15: Maxxie Mit Melancholy
Session 16: The Long Walk Home
Session 17: Obtuse Origins – Omega Overdrive
Natalie Rambles About Verde’s Doohickey