Bravely Default Review

Bravely-Default-Flying-Fairy-Characters-HD-WallpaperI’ll be blunt and say that I only got halfway through the Bravely Default, and that should be how this review is read. However, as with any review I do while having not completed a game, it is naturally going to be very negative, as I viewed the game to not be worth completing. So yes, some schmuck on his own private playhouse is going to bad talk a critically acclaimed JPRG that many considered to be a reinvigoration of the genre. I think it is the most stagnant, soulless, and overall worst game I have ever reviewed. …Elaboration time! (more…)

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Rundown (3/30-4/05) Silence WORM! Imma Enjoy My Lonely Life

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  • Reading time:8 mins read
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KLK You Must BE Really Lonely to do that you loner solo individualHey, I don’t know if I’ve made this abundantly clear or not, but I’ve written a novel that is available through this link for you to purchase off of Amazon for a dollar. I know I am pushing this super hard, but I really do want to have 100 people read through this thing I’ve done, because I placed 11 months into the project and do not want it to go unnoticed. Yet I’m still gonna be here talking about them video games and get people pissed off if they decide to comment… I’m cyber lonely. (more…)

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Rundown (3/09-3/15) This Was The Only Image I Had for Spring

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  • Reading time:7 mins read
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buttholeWith my recent apathy toward a few minutes of Monaco and refusal to play a game with as terrible lighting as Doom 3, I now have four games left on my Steam library that I designated as ones I should play. Mind you, I have plenty to replay on PC, but now all I’m left with are a gore fest, a game with terrible text and no controller support, a $5 impulse buy, and a game I dropped 16 hours into back in October. So forgive me if I decide to focus on anime reviews for a while, which should actually be refreshing starting when I review Kill La Kill on the 31st.

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Rundown (12/22-1/04) Pounding Into That There 20-14

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Nutha

“What do you want to see from games in 2014?” is a question that I raise an eyebrow towards, as I view it as a very simple one to answer. Less hissy fits about minor details, stay positive and hope companies don’t do dirty actions, and keep on putting out great games. Bam! I think the question is more focused towards what people really want out of Gen8, but then I can’t answer the question properly, as I made myself a PC that I named after this here blog I made about a year beforehand. I got more games than I got over the past three years in the past seven months so jack could happen this year and I’d say it was still pretty good. So here’s a bunch of old C Grade news.

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Rundown (12/08-12/21) A Pre-Christmas Slog Featuring Nintendo-Based Fondling

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ButtsWell, the yearly hype machine is coming to a stop with Steam sales for the missing titles in many collections while game of the year listings are the only thing most websites have to do. So there was not a whole bunch of news, but enough for a post after waiting two weeks. Yet, a third of this is just from a Nintendo Direct and my very abridged version of it. (more…)

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Rundown (9/29-10/05) All I Need Is Pokemon

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Pokemon-XY-pokemon-34679625-1024-768…All of this? I only care about it a morsel as much as I care about Pokemon X/Y. I’ve been following the Neogaf thread about it and goddamn am I excited. I know, the “fun” is in discovering the new Pokemons you never heard of. Well, not for me. I’ve just been planning and preparing everything for my big rush into the Kalos region where I have the stupid, stupid, stupid goal of getting them all. Every poop licking Pocket Monster there is… Now, could one of you sexy young infants help me find my marbles? I’ll check and see if any flew up your assholes.

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Rundown (9/22-9/28) Steam Powered Planets and Stinky Terrorists

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MINEY’know, I was originally going to save these paragraphs until next week, but oh dearie I had to be thrown into Kotaku to find a… y’know what? Read the stuff about them Steam Machines and Pokemons and then see me rage against the society or something like that. All of which I sorta agree with ex post facto, but would not use so many of them stoopid emotions.

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Rundown (9/01-9/07) I Really Needta Watch More Animes

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Fart ballsOkay, I’m just gonna get the minor stuff out of the way in this intro. Bravely Default will indeed be the updated version when it comes overseas, as well as be a “demo” for the sequel coming in late 2014 if I had an inkling. Xbox One is coming out on November 22nd because it’s the Xbox 360’s anniversary. Dead Rising 3 continues to look more like a game worth playing, though it is here where I realize how much of a sexist asshole I am, as I would only want to play it as a female character. While Xseed is localizing the Legend of Heroes: Trails In The Sky sequel and PS3 redux. Which I’ll probably review sometime next year, as they will receive PC releases to boot. Also EA claimed they were being risky dogs because they’re making Star Wars video games. On with the show!

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Rundown: Nintendo Direct (4/17)

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251877-yikes

Well, numerous sites have offered their fast paced summaries of the most recent Nintendo Direct, but I’ve never taken “your opinion isn’t needed” as a valid reason not to talk about something, unless the opinion itself was lame on a personal level. So taking the amount of concentrated happy Nintendo injects into my eye sockets, time to be a snarky badger about it. Also not include hyperlinks beyond Destructoid’s Round-up.

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Rundown (4/01-4/06) The Sweet Tsunami of Splendid Summer Swimwear

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  • Reading time:10 mins read
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PGOS Attack of the swim suit tsunami2

It figures that I have run out of things to say after two months, so I’m just going to list some random thoughts, like Chibi Robo’s adventures in a nightclub which ends with it causing all the sex from the humans… Yeah, I’ll just get to the news before I start typing out Max Anarchy song lyrics for fun. (more…)

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