Rundown (12/18-12/24) Yet Another Christmas…

pl-santa-claus-martians-jingle-bells-christmas-wackyWell, it’s finally Christmas, the year is near an end, and I’m unfortunately not feeling very well.  My throat has been bothering me this past week, likely due to an influx of black mold that was present in a place I worked on Monday, and as such it’s hard for me to speak.  Anyways, I hope everyone is enjoying their obligatory familial festivities and receives a collection of gifts to their liking.  I’m probably just going to get $100 to spend on my medical expenses. Continue reading

Rundown (4/05-4/11) High Impact Sexual Violence: Gooey Edition

0 PM whoops my bad sorry mistook you for someone else wrong person next after you dead dying die deathSo, this week I tried Killer Is Dead, and it made me realize that I simply cannot play Character Action Games that implement a grading system, meaning most of them, as if you get anything beneath the highest score, well, you are just fucking up.  But not just playing the game, oh no, you are going against the developer’s intentions and are objectively playing the game wrong, and by extension you are ruining an experience by being too shit to handle a challenge that the title very clearly stats should be no problem for normal people.  I honestly don’t know if I hate it more than a lives base system, as that method is a vile outdated archaic disgusting loathsome evil punishment based system that was implemented in order to inspire mastery artificially increase game length.  But if you dare waste a resource as precious as life, you probably don’t deserve to have your own, you miserable little sack of maggot infested cum, mixed with urine, STD infested blood, Ebola, and bug shit Continue reading

Rundown (7/27-8/02) The World Is a Land of Delightful Despair

CDI Princess Pie Cake Goat the fuckI don’t know what’s more surprising, that I’ve been doing this video game review thing since Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning, which I don’t recall in the slightest, or how it’s taken this long for the first settlement of its lawsuit to happen.  Yes, I understand legal systems take quite a bit of time, but it’s been over two years since I played that cold wet street trash!  Now I’m nearly out of my teens and am potentially working two days a week while juggling school, this blog, and my novel.  I’m not complaining, but I would appreciate if I had more than numbers to dignify that my existence is worthwhile, as the 60 or so Pageviews I accumulate daily are hardly what I consider to be reassuring that people care about my existence on the interwebs. Continue reading

Rundown (6/29-7/05) 5kYrIM;941N

0KLK Mako is the best also happy girl full of needles so much pain for the joy wrongfully placedSo, in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been playing a lot of Skyrim, and it has inhaled 80 hours of my life thus far.  My progress is still minimal, and my completionist nature with this game has been effectively screwed by Heartfire, which is an absurdly constructed add-on for the game that was likely designed by the lowest tier of employees at Bethesda, as anything that lets you customize a home, but have no freedom with it aside from choices that cannot be undone, is a no-good piece of crap. Continue reading

Rundown (6/22-6/28) Life… Is A Thing You Do Before Death

0P4G Free will is for faggots we just be machines that obey creators no desires for ourselfs we dumb shit farters…I actually had two intros prepared for this post, but as the Steam Sales just entered their final day an hour before preparing to post this tiny post and I just bought them, I feel like talking about them.  I made out well in terms of the titles I got, but the same cannot be said about my wallet.  Sure, my games per dollar ratio was pretty good throughout and I did regain a nice pool of variety before going into the replay bin, but I also ended up cleaning my plate of every PC game released before 2014 that I wanted to purchase and eventually play.  It actually felt pretty good to clear out the spreadsheet I made to keep track of them, but it also brought forth the reality that the number of games I want that were released, or will be released in 2014 is massive.  41 titles I have yet to buy, and now my job fueled wallet is looking at lot less bulky.

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Rundown (3/16-3/22) An Orgasmic Week With Kill La Kill and GDC

0 KLK Psycho Ping Pong Lady of Ultimate weird robotic what the fuck japan this is crazy eights up in this bitchHey, I just found myself a cool fact: Nintendo’s got 10.5 billion in the bank.  Meaning their doom and gloom is totally exaggerated.  Does this mean I will stop yelling at them though?  Not until I get two new 3DS Metroid games, a proper Paper Mario 3 on 3DS, a more refined sequel to A Link Between Worlds on 3DS, a handheld that I actually like holding unlike the 3DS, and a team of thirty qualified professionals to help make my dream Pokemon game a reality… on PC.  I’m willing to not settle for the last one.  Nintendo’s problem is that they created an audience that expects so much from them.  Also, GDC happened and I’ve gotten to episode 20 of KIll La KIll, so I am cooler than any of y’all cucumbers. Continue reading