Rundown (9/13-9/19) The Plan to Eradicate All Pubes
Wherein I discuss a lackluster fantastical reveal, the final details surrounding the next generation of gaming, a hunter returning to their true home, and a bunch of other weeb garbage.
(more…)Rundown (4/09-4/15) Q1 2017 Was the Best Quarter for Video Games
Recently, discussions have begun about how 2017 might just be one of the best years in video gaming, as the first quarter of the year was home to an excess of stellar titles. However, I can’t help but find any of those claims to be a bit overly presumptuous, as the year is still beginning. But if people were instead talking about how Q1 was the best quarter in the history of gaming, then that it both entirely justifiable, and those people are probably right considering the number of great games that came out in those 90 days. The only one of which I played was Dragon Quest VIII… Man, I am really disconnected from the cultural zeitgeist. (more…)
Rundown (9/13-9/19) TGS 2015: Darkest Despair!
I’m not sure how often I’ve brought this up, but I think that Free to Play games were among the worst things to happen to the industry in recent years, and there have been a lot since I got in this industry’s intestines, mostly the large one, where poop is dried out, around 2006. But after reading this little piece by somebody who has been getting neck deep in whale blood as his employers tried to manipulate individuals with mental problems for the sexiest thing in the mortal world, Kentucky granola, also known as USD, I feel I have an opportunity that I shall not waste, if only because I love the line and it is mostly true. Free to play games were a mistake; they’re nothing but trash. I hope they are outlawed by 2033, when the Great African War begins and half of it is destroyed by a nuclear explosion. Buy War Bonds in preparation of the war to end all wars! (more…)
Rundown (4/05-4/11) High Impact Sexual Violence: Gooey Edition
So, this week I tried Killer Is Dead, and it made me realize that I simply cannot play Character Action Games that implement a grading system, meaning most of them, as if you get anything beneath the highest score, well, you are just fucking up. But not just playing the game, oh no, you are going against the developer’s intentions and are objectively playing the game wrong, and by extension you are ruining an experience by being too shit to handle a challenge that the title very clearly stats should be no problem for normal people. I honestly don’t know if I hate it more than a lives base system, as that method is a vile outdated archaic disgusting loathsome evil punishment based system that was implemented in order to inspire mastery artificially increase game length. But if you dare waste a resource as precious as life, you probably don’t deserve to have your own, you miserable little sack of maggot infested cum, mixed with urine, STD infested blood, Ebola, and bug shit (more…)